CURIOUS COCK CANVASES

Opportunity Presents Itself

We have a couple of images to present to you this week. We are trying to make a serious effort to release a backlog of graffiti. 

While most images are created using the traditional pen/paint to wall/door combination, others are a simpler and more opportunistic combinations. Canvases that are only willing to be cocked for a short period of time.

The first of these comes courtesy of winter. While on a visit to Glenrothes ("Today, there are more roundabouts in Glenrothes than all other roundabouts in Fife when added together."), in Kingdom of Fife, our contributor came across a footpath Snowcock. Although not desperately rare, it could be considered under threat from climate change and therefore slightly threatened. 

Slight vein work and a very interesting cock to ball ratio.

Sadly we have far less information on this second contribution but we think it might be from Ireland. Thanks goes to Alan nonetheless. This is the sort of opportunity that I would love to be presented with; fresh concrete (follow the link to clear any confusion between concrete and cement) and judging by a complete lack of footprints, a very long stick was also involved. Should we read anything into the fact that the penis lies directly next to a litter bin? I guess we will never know. 

I love how the nut receptacle doubles up as our very own Sun with the pubes obviously representing beautiful little rays of sunshine. And again the ball to cock ratio should be noted. Graffiti cocks and balls come in all shapes and sizes.

CARLOSSUS!

NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

I BLOODY DISAGREE!

I have been promising a big cock cleanout of my hard drive for some time now. I have let the internet become penis barren for far too long. Apologies to all who have sent me their lucky little finds over the past wee while, I didn't mean to take this long. Anyway enough sorry's!

I can't be completely sure where this was taken but it was provided by Son of The CockandBall family. 

Unhappy with the fact that was "nothing to see here", this graffiti-izer took matters into their own hands and decided to make sure that there bloody well as something to see!

PENGUINS AND COCKS... AGAIN!

PENGUINS PREFER PENIS

Could that silly little man, David Cameron, spell the end of  "A Cock and Ball Story" with his new internet pornography curbs. Well, of course not, but it will mean that you are all going to have to contact your Internet Service Provider and ask them politely to reinstate your access to cocks and balls. Now if that ain't a legitimate excuse then what is?

We'll get to the penguin in just one second. First off though I need to make a penis and David Cameron link. Let me think........Yes I think I have it. 

"It's no real surprise to find David Cameron's name popping up on a blog dedicated to cocks is it?" hahahahahahahaha

Moving on.....I don't know why penguins and graffiti Cocks and Balls are so widely found to be hanging out together (check out this previous example from Chemnitz), all I know is that this is the second example to find it's way onto these pages.

 A big thank you to the contributor for this one. It would appear that he is becoming a permanent fixture.

HEY DAD!

Till next time COCK ON!

 

FEAR NOT THE KIDS ARE GOING TO BE FINE

No they really are! just look at these masterpieces.

As we age we have a natural tendency to see the world as a place that is getting worse; vocalised by the ever dull "it wasn't like that in my day". We have the tendency to despair for the kids and the way they behave and what they can achieve.

Well I am here to tell you that the kids are going to be just fine. But more importantly the future of our most sacred and probably the oldest artistic subject- the cock and ball - is in very safe hands.

The following images, all the way from the land of the Leprechaun (little Irish Fairies,) were found in the back of a students note book and was discovered by the teacher (wheelie Bin) while reviewing their progression. Well we think they probably deserve an A+ for dedication to the cause.

Big apologies for the delay in cocking you all.

 I like to think of myself as a pacifist, but my god if war looked anything like this I be starting revolutions all over the place. "Yes General, we will send in the tank penises first, then after that 'Super Hamburglar penis hero will clean things up"

Till next time COCK ON!

 

THE COCK THAT CROSSED THE POND

THAT'S RIGHT ACTUALLY CROSSED IT.

I need to clear this up a little bit as the title may be a slight bit misleading. Presumably you are all thinking that a graffiti cock just upped sticks, packed its sack and moved right across here to the UK. Well it didn't actually happen like that at all. It made its way to us via the magic of the world wide web, the Internet if you will. 

The Internet was invented in space by a guy from Brisbane. Commonly it is used to watch naked people cavorting with each other, using their very own (and sometimes other's) bits and pieces to titillate the likes of you all. It has also developed a very annoying habit of sharing images and movies of cats.

So intrepid cocker Andy managed to pick up this hooded monster somewhere in Texas. Texas is home to Big steaks, South by South West, Cowboys and a strong, yet misplaced, sense of entitlement towards gun ownership. 

So without further ado here is a well vanned international cock.

Ideally this vehicle would have been a dodge then the caption would have read "you couldn't dodge this one could you"

Oh well, till next time 

COCK ON!

From the Outskirts of the Favelas

A lesson in utilising space

The latest contribution to the blog comes from an avarice  cock hunter. We have also managed to get them to squeeze out a wee story to go with it. So in his fine words..............

(I) Discovered this red member outside the Missionary on Hopetoun Crescent. And what hope it brings.
I'm still not entirely sure if it's someone pontificating on their love of their own johnson, or inviting penile devotion from passing strangers. But who couldn't love such a specimen. Also proof that girth isn't everything. It certainly brightened up my afternoon.

Bravo sir bravo

Till next time COCK ON!

NEON THRILLER

Someone has been BAD.

Not long in to the box are a couple of new examples of, what we believe to be, one of the oldest (and best)and most opportunistic examples of graffiti. And for these we have to welcome a new contributor to the blog; So welcome and thank you very much HV.

With all the controversy surrounding the king of cock....oops sorry pop, it is a little bit surprising that we haven't come across an example involving him before.

And we think enough time has passed to be able to erect this one onto the blog.

Nonce. LONDON.

And keen to get his second member into us as soon as possible he found another one at home in Edinburgh. In the same way that snow, dew and frost are great mediums for graffiti, so is the humble dusty window. This was found unbelievably close to the Headquarters of this operation.

I think there may be a couple to view here.

YES.

Now not to be outdone by the newbie we managed to capture a cock of our own. Found in Edinburgh's Bristo Square, the artist has gone the extra mile by adding a pair of legs for perspective. Bristo Square is at the heart of Edinburgh's historic and world renowned university and we are happy to know that the students can still find time for a bit of juvenile art.

And a nice salute to boot!

As always and until next time COCK ON!

HEAVEN'S GATE 78

Bingo

Again this was spotted in Edinburgh's Latin Quarter right by a bus stop and a bingo hall. Who could have drawn this? Well if you live in Edinburgh long enough by osmosis you pick up natural detective skills; it has a great history of fictional crime fighters and wizards. So I have concluded with, what I believe to be, excellent certainty that it was in fact none other than the butler. No of course it wasn't, it was a very disgruntled granny who was two fat ladies short of a flat screen telly.

Angry beyond words there was only one way to respond (while waiting for the number 49, a single decker) and this was it. 

You go for it Gertrude!

NO BILL POSTERS PLEASE!

COCK ON!

A DONG OVERDUE BLOG ENTRY

YOU DIDN'T THINK WE WOULDN'T BE 

BACK DID YOU?

Can you believe it had been ages since the last cock made an entry? How long exactly I have no idea. But needless to say I once again have quite a few new images to unload on you all.

Found not more than fifty meters or for those still stuck in imperial land 

 54.680 664 917 yards. The two residents inside were as perplexed as we were excited to find this big dirty yoghurt monster on their window.

Nonetheless they allowed us to make their window ornament famous and happy to know that their penis was, in their words, left in the hands of the cockandball people"

And next an old favourite makes a spruced up re-appearance. 

This old fella was had nearly faded out of existence when thankfully a caring cocker gave him a fresh lick (of paint). The Meadows, Edinburgh.

Stick around for the next couple of weeks and I will get a few more up and about.

COCK ON!

"I think it's bigger than me!"

Do you recognize this Cockandball?

God the winter nights are long in Scotland, and as such we have plenty of time to fill them with cocksandballs. 

So thanks to one of our now frequent Fife cock spotters, here is one of our latest offerings in his words.

"ok ive banged it across. 2 pix. one straight on and one to the side for sense of scale and location. On close inspection it's a bit hairy and there is actually a chinstrap coming down from the helmet - check out the face!

I think its bigger than me!

 

I think a game of guess the location is in order then.

Luke's Southern Cock

SNOOOOOWWWW!!!!!

For every snowfall there is a silver lining. While many struggle to come to grips (probably Literally) with the white stuff (not milk), some have the imagination to see the wintery snowscape as a ready made canvas, and god bless them for it.

The most recent contribution to these hallowed computery pages comes from down sowff. I'll leave the rest of this post to the contributor.

"Some southern softies coping with the weather the only way they know how, the next car said 'tits' on it!

COCK DUMP

Been Sitting on These Cocks for Ages

As the title suggests I have been sitting on this lot of cocks for far too long (Metaphorical). I was considering just firing off a couple of cocks a week at you all but as usual the festive season took advantage of me and I simply didn't get time (too lazy and boozed.) For this I apologise and am now determine to make it up to you. I have removed a whole load of cock and balls from behind the zip(file) and am about to release them upon you; a cock dump if you will. Feast your eyes.

These are the remaining images from backstage in Berlin taken while masquerading as a tour driver. 

 Great use of C&B's as Bullet points

 That's right Homey "Original Wangster"

 This was a good 3 feet long

 For me this is the most disturbing of the set.

 Not confident in their drawing capabilities,

but the thought is still there.

 If somebody could translate I would appreciate.

 Complete with a poem. Going that extra mile for A Cock and Ball Story

 Irony?

 Assbird. If we take this word apart we actually get Donkey bird. Please if you want to say Arse say Arse not Ass.

Remember folks there are cock and balls all over our fine world just waiting to be made famous. So get out there and start snapping for us. 

Remember we want to make your cock Famous! So until next time COCK ON!

 

Happy New Year!

Old School Cock

We were all at school once (if you are still at school you shouldn't be reading this filth) and have all done this?

This bit of loveliness was spotted in a school car park. Of course we can only hope that it was a teachers.

Oh and Happy New Yeah. And many happy cocks to you!

COX

COCK LOVE

Hello Cockers and cockees. Another Sunday night has rolled around again and more importantly the world is supposed to end this week I think, because of those pesky Mayans. I have been sitting on this latest image for a few weeks now and simply have not had time to release it. Big shout out to our newest contributor Alan for this one.

You know what winter means? It means salt and grit and a dirty car making for the perfect canvas for a opportunistic cockandballer to take advantage of.

So without further ado here it is.

Also can you spot the love heart?

BERLIN FILES

BERLIN COCK CHRONICLES

The Berlin files are just so dam big. In fact there is just not enough room in the cloud to release them all in a one-er. I have it on good authority that there are people making the Internet cloudier and cloudier. Just now it is a tropical depression, but this will turn into a cyclone eventually, where all the information will just go round and round and get dizzy. 

So that being said I am going to send a couple more cocks into the cloud where they will eventually get dizzy. 

The following images were found backstage in Berlin. Effectively the room was just a shrine to the wonderful and ancient art of Cock and Ball Graffiti......

Electric Balls. I actually recharged my phone under the right Testicle. It was the only socket available.......honest!

 Dale Crover took the time to add some sad little tears of jizz.

We love to have guest contributions so don't be shy and get in touch.

My(le) Royal Cock

CCC

Classic Chalk Cock.

I love my new job, not least because of the enthusiasm shown by my new colleagues for all things interesting, unique, new and bizarre. Now I didn't think or expect that they would be contributing to the blog so soon.

I would like to think that the sole reason for their jaunt out of the office today was to help bring the next instalment of ACOCKANDBALLSTORY into life. Now I know this isn't true but I like to dream.

In any case when the two new and intrepid cockers arrived back at the office today excitement was making their voices go craaaaazy shrill! "We have a cock......We have a cock!" You have to work a little hard to see it but it is there. And if you hurry and the Scottish weather doesn't plot against your now inevitable search, you will find it somewhere on Edinburgh's Royal Mile (The clues in the title.)

What did we do before Phones with cameras I ask?!!

The Sheer Joy.

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Berlin Bellends.

While on my mini trip around Europe acting out my role as tour driver to an Edinburgh Rock band what really struck me was their absolutely fantastic lettering on shop fronts, magazines along with all other types of media. So it is no real surprise that when a recent convert to the blog excitedly pointed me towards a new font I was super excited. What's it called? Wait for it.....COCKSURE! Naturally I could not wait to unleash this perfectly immature font upon you all. 

COCK CHICANE

Läuft(RUN!)
 I don't know why the cock is not directly straight. My guess is that it has made it's way through a ventricular chicane.

Not a cock at all but it is a Merman. But it is as if he is too shy to exhibit his bits. And also it is a magnificent piece of artwork.

Berlin was a gold mine. So stay tuned. SAME COCK TIME......SAME COCK BLOG!

  

Cocks on the Continent.

Cocks on the Continent!

Guten Tag, Salut, Bonjour or just plain old G'day!

I have filled many a job title in my life from Check-out chick to fruit picker to greenkeeper to name a few. But one of my recent roles is as a tour driver to some of the finest bands I know.

I realized the latest tour to some of  Europe's member (chuckle) states would be another great opportunity to see a bit of our continental buddies, spend a few weeks having many laughters, but most of all see just how many of the very gold that makes this blog one of the most popular in a dark corner of the internet I could snap! I do all of this out of my commitment to you!

If I upload all of the C&B's in a one-er it could very well ruin your eyes and your very soul. So over the next few days there will be a drip feed of fanatsic phallii.

So here goes.

 

Aachen - Another Where's Willy? Keep looking you'll find it.

 Leipzig - Fiki Fiki! A cock on the groin is worth one in the hand.

A Penis and a penguin - This one is one of my personal favourites found in a children's playpark in Chemnitz.

This is just a taster of what is going to be unleashed upon you fine people!

WHAT'S UP CHARLOTTE'S LANE?

So what is up Charlotte's Lane? Well looking back through the inbox from August I found an image sent to us by Cobra post. Yep that's right, the Cobra's have been on the street, tongues to the wind looking for Cock and Balls to send into our headquarters (no pun intended.)

I think for the first time in the blogs history we have a west end willy. Head to the west end of Princes street to discover this delightful dick.

They had to bar their windows from this monster.

 

 

TO SOME THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE AT 40

We set out some rules when this blog kicked off two years ago come boxing day. Actually, from memory, the only rule was that the graffiti had to be stumbled upon and not created by a contributor or  a by one of the Authors. Well I have decided to flip a middle finger to that for a one off occasion. 

Not long ago I reached the grand old age of 40 (If you haven't bought me a present or at least a pint there is still time) and one of the greatest gifts that I received was a book of portraits by several of my dearest friends. As much as I would like to share them all with you as they were all great only one really fits the bill for this here blog.

So here it is, me at 40 according to one of my friends. You know who you are.

It looks like the only thing to escape the cock and ballage is my eyeballs and my beard.

Normal rules apply after this post. So get sending in those images and we will endeavour to get a few more frequent updates up.

Till next time COCK ON!